“I wonder why we take from our women? Why we rape our women? Do we hate our women?” ~ Tupac Shakur
Black men hate Black women, and I’ve been saying this for over a decade because it’s a simple truth. Unfortunate, but true. Even as the most visible targets they are in America and to the police force. These niggas will spit in the face of their counterparts – the women who look just like them, birth them, raise them, and help them: black women, specifically dark-skin black women. Women of color, with a darker hue to their skin darker can attest to this mistreatment across the globe, literally. Anywhere you go on this planet, there will be a dark-skin woman that can share their experience of colorism perpetuated by a man that looks just like them: black men.
Beyond the beauty and dating discrimination: Let’s discuss the way black men target dark-skin women for jokes and literally anything to alleviate themselves of their low-self esteem or discomfort they feel in a situation they put themselves in. I go to comedy clubs and more than enough times, the “Black” (yes, the quotes are deliberate), awkward amateur guy goes on stage and says some jokes. They don’t hit with the audience. Now, they point to me, the only dark-skin black woman in the crowd: to masculinize or vilify in any sort of manner to get a reaction from the audience. All because they can’t get a single joke off that actually warrants a laugh. Sad.
That behavior is familiar with Black men. It’s usually never caught on camera like most interactions. But in one incident with Kanye West, it was taped. He ridiculed a young Black girl in the crowd at his South Carolina pep rally. It was unnecessary, embarrassing, and when a white girl approached West at that same event, within the same time frame, he responded to her with open arms – literally, he hugged her. After humiliating Iesha and getting the crowd amped up, he quickly left the stage.
As I mentioned before, to alleviate themselves from the discomfort they feel in situations they put themselves in, Black men will degrade dark-skin women as a means to escape from situations and themselves. I’m just tired of seeing and being the brunt of it. These moments are nothing new, but it need to stop. I’m tired of it.
So what can we do about it? What can we, Black women, that are affected by this active targeted colorism do about it? Remove ourselves from the equation. Remove the support we often lend and hand-out to these men that double the dosage of evil and ostracization we also experience. Remove ourselves from an outlet to laugh, rage, deposit toxic emotions, and all the things to abuse. Let them go and find solidarity in themselves and the people like them. Fall back.
Black women, please fall back. These men will not protect us, march for us, or stand for us in plenty moments of need, vulnerability, or simple respect and solidarity. They do not see us as they see themselves. Personally, I don’t even think they see their own humanness and the capacity and dimensions it holds. So it’s impossible to even ask they do that for another. They see us as ‘other.’ Save yourself because these niggas will never save you.
So why will niggas always be the weakest link? Because they don’t protect the ones most vulnerable in their community: dark-skin women and girls. They exploit us, mock us, disrespect us, and abuse us in every way possible. So niggas will always be the weakest link in our community, and that’s just how the cookie will crumble. Good luck.
Black men, do better and understand that we’re all mirrors. So when you hurt us, you hurt yourself. Don’t ever forget that.