How Many Times Have You Died?

If we choose to embrace our struggles and repair ourselves with love, we become more beautiful from being broken. The art of kintsugi.

I’m speaking metaphorically when I say this because I know how powerful words are. I feel as though I’ve been broken a million times but somehow repaired myself over & over again. The last time was in 2018. Most recently, 5 weeks ago. The world diminishes our spirits in ways that seem irrevocable. But at times when I feel and see myself slipping beyond return, a sliver of faith pulls me back to life.

Usually, it’s a cry for help in prayer and gripping onto faith for me. It might be a conversation, isolation, or any sort of therapeutic method to ease the suffering for another. All of which I’ve done before. So I’m just curious if more people realize they’ve truly been broken? And they perish & accept the ruins, or do they eventually rise and give birth to a new person?

Sometimes I see the people that destroyed me and they generally are the same person. It makes me wonder if they care that they’re murderers. Victims tend to experience suffering as they’re the ones who were wronged. But the wrongdoers, the ones that never acknowledge or atone for their actions; When someone breaks them, do they fully disintegrate?

I’m curious because there has only been three people in the past two years that realized they broke me. Generally, I see more times than not, when a person’s spirit shatters their subconscious and morale goes with it. The lack of justice might contribute to it. But I won’t use that to justify the absence of ethics.

Where do you go when your spirit is broken? What do you do when you’re there and your body remains unscathed on earth?

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